Unreal Fantasy Story Part Two

Hi to all! Thanks to the old follower and the new for reading my daughters previous writing on her book, but we still have not received any comments if she should be writing the story further or if it is worth the while reading.  My first blog on this had been posted on the 22nd August 2014 and here is the follow up on the story:

The Voyage
They arrived just in time for the ship’s departure. It turned out that they were just waiting for them. “After all, one cannot leave your highest paying passengers behind,” as the captain himself stated. As they boarded the ship and showed their rooms, she realised that her uncle had also joined them with her two cousins – Jason the eldest and Eric, the youngest. Two obnoxious jerks. All they ever did was treat her like dirt. She just took a deep breath and told herself that she must make the best of the situation. That there are bigger forces out there, who will look out for her.

After they set sail, the day flew past fast and daylight soon turned to darkness. They were making progress fast. Everyone was relaxing except for Alexis. She was standing on the deck, watching the waves of the sea crash against the ship. All was calm until suddenly she heard an alarming scream, “We are under attack!”

The calm environment changed to one of chaos. Thousands of feet were moving over and about, arming themselves and taking passengers to safety, all of them but Alexis. They left her alone, her body frozen to the spot, to fend for herself. Deep inside she knew that if she does not hide, she could pay dearly with her life. However, she just could not move her body did not want to respond to her attempts, no matter how hard she tried.

She could hear cannons firing; feel the vibrations caused by them. The seamen were fighting right in front of her while her heart hammered in her chest, but her body still did not want to respond, not even when two wild looking men grabbed her. She barely succeeded in following them, causing them to drag her up to their ship. Visions of lifeless bodies torment her all the way which she just vaguely recognised. Everything happened in slow motion, making it all feel surreal.

The enemy ship looked like it sailed out of a horror movie, not a speck of colour was in sight, it was dark and morbid. The wood coloured like charcoal and the sails pitch black, a place of pure evil and malice.

As they put her down in front of their captain, a chill ran through her body, awakening a spur of life in her too. It was that little spark it took to ignite her will to live and encourage her to fight. At the same time, just one look at the Captain’s face woke up a deep fear in her. His eyes were a dark void, but as he looked at her weak on her knees in front of him, a fire lit up in them. It looked like he wanted to devour her on the spot. This made the hairs on her body stand up and her eyes turn cold and hard.

“Well, well what do we have here? You’re a nice looking girl, I must say. You would probably look better with less clothes on and that golden hair let down, but that could be organised.” All she did was look at him; she could not find any words to say to him. Although there was no need for words as, the look in her eyes spoke volumes, conveying exactly what she thought of him and his ideas. “He can go to hell!”

“Hey, girl! Don’t you know how to speak?” before he could throw anymore-crude comments her way, one of his crew members interrupted him. “Sorry to bother you Captain! What must we do with the older woman we captured?” “Oh, yes! I almost forgot about her, this one had me a bit preoccupied. Tie that old hag up in my cabin we will trade her tomorrow. As for this little doll, tie her up on the deck, maybe that will loosen her tongue.” “Alright Captain, but if you do not mind me saying something else.” The Captain just grunted in response, “What is it Howard? I do not have time for your chit chat.” “Well, I think this girl can’t talk at all,” he stammered, “Through the whole fight she didn’t make a peep.” “Well, thanks for that bit of info, then beat her up a bit too. That ought to make her talk.” “Yes, Captain!”

After that she was led away, dreading what they had planned for her with each step she took but vowing to herself that no matter how much pain they inflict that she would not utter a word, not even as much as a murmur. They tied her up, her hands and feet shackled tightly. The rope eating through her flesh already, blood seeping from the wounds. She still did not cry, but stared out in front of her.


Suddenly she awoke by the captain’s harsh footsteps heading her way. Time was a mystery to her, all the days spent tied up blended. It all was just one big blur of events, consisting mostly of pain and drifting in an out of consciousness as the sun baked her sensitive skin and the cold wind bit at her exposed flesh. Wakened every time being whipped by the Captain, taunted and used in every way that he pleased. However, through every bit of torture and humiliation she still did not utter any sound.

The pain was devouring her, hunger and thirst slowly killing her. There was nothing more she wanted to do than beg him for mercy, but deep inside she knew that it was not worth it. She would rather die than do the filthy Captain’s bidding willingly.

“Well girl, you’d be happy to hear that you’re not getting your whipping today. I’ve gotten tired of your silence. You must look your best, we’re nearing a tribe with whom we do business often and hope they will take you off our hands for supplies. Otherwise, your life is going to come to an end soon.” With the news delivered, he left her hanging there to ponder what he said.



I have decided to help my daughter by placing some book writing, she wrote and would love to hear from all my followers in advising us if the writing is worth the while to finish. The work is still very rough and still needs to be changed and illustrations to be added. Please leave comments if you think she should go ahead and finish the book and if you do not like it please advise us on the feeling you have. We would like honest opinions please as she does not want to waste her time if it is not at least good.

Unreal Fantasy

The Beginning

On the planet Notorious there exist two completely different races. The Fair-skinned, who thought of themselves as civilised and who believed that they were above all other living creatures. However, they still lived in fear, dreading that one day they would be attacked by another of their kind who wants what they posses. Then there were the Barbarians, a name which the Fair-skinned gave them. They were a more peaceful race, who made a living from the land. They did have disputes between their tribes, but it seldom led to violence. So why were they given such a savage name? Was it because they were not understood or perhaps that they were feared?
But this is not a tale about the differences of two races. It is a tale of one girl in particular who brought them together. This girl’s name was Alexis. She was the only daughter of the richest Fair-skinned couple in Dunland – Mr and Mrs Owen. Even though they were rich, they were wonderful people. They were compassionate but above all they adored their daughter and loved her more than anything in their life. She was given the best life that they could give her, they would have given her the world even but it was not theirs to give.
Alexis was different from other peers her age. She was a loveable girl who cared about anything living, looking out more for others. It was not only her personality that made her beautiful. She was also blessed with angelic looks. As a result of being different, she never truly fitted in. Sometimes even her parents would find themselves in a situation where they did not completely understand her.
As if that was not enough, her whole world as she knew it was turned upside down in a blink of an eye.

It was her 19th birthday, a day, which was supposed to be wonderful, but instead turned out into her worst nightmare. She started the day by helping out at the local shelter as she usually did even though her parents did not understand why she would do such a thing on her birthday of all days. All she kept telling them was that the small children at the shelter needed her. Her time at the shelter flew by fast, full of laughter and joy. When she headed home, she was in a very happy mood.
She felt like she was walking on air, but as she opened the front door, an uneasy feeling ran through her body. The house was too quiet. In the end, optimism got the better of her, thoughts of dread and fear dispersed as happy scenarios filled her head that only made the shock more severe. As she walked into the living room, her eyes fell on a gruesome scene, on the floor, she found her parents’ bodies lying in pools of blood. A sad picture compared to the birthday decorations and presents stacked in the room. Her knees gave way, turning to jelly as she collapsed beside them, tears clouding her eyes. Tons of thoughts bombarded her mind. Her whole world started spinning around and around until everything faded to black.

When she woke up, she was lying in her bed. She almost thought it was all just a dream if it was not for the stranger looking at her as she opened her eyes. “Good morning, Miss Owen, I was glad to see that you are finally awake. I am Mr Johnson, your parents’ lawyer, but you can call me Jarred.”
She sat up in her bed, confused from all the events that had happened and now some stranger was staring at her and claiming that he was her parents’ lawyer. It was all just too much for her.
“Sorry, I know that a lot have happened in your life in just a few hours and that you are still trying to make sense of everything. I am also sorry about the death of your parents and I promise you that the law will find those who are responsible, but it is my responsibility to your parents to ensure that you looked after. You are only 19, meaning that you are still a minor, according to the Law and therefore will need a guardian. I found out that you are alone except for your mother’s sister, Grace. I have spoken to her and confirmed that you will be leaving with her today still, she will be your legal guardian.” Even though he sounded sincere and sorry, the emotion did not seem to reach his eyes or face.
She did not know what to say, staring at him forlornly as she fought to keep her composure. “What? This cannot be! How can this stranger just tell her what to do? She just lost her parents and now she will lose her life and freedom too. Her aunt hated them and despised her. Her life will be living hell. Although they can take her freedom, they will never take her heart and soul. Money is not as important as that.”
“Well, Miss your things are packed and ready. You must just get dressed and then join us downstairs.” With those words he left her room, as cold hearted as he entered, leaving her with only her thoughts to keep her company.

Finally dressed in her maroon coloured travelling dress and matching slippers, her golden hair clipped into place on her head, she walked down the stairs, ready to face her fate. What greeted her there revolted her. Her aunt was sitting there like she was the queen of the castle. “Oh, Alexis, it is good to see that you finally decided to join us. We’re in a bit of a hurry, we must still catch our ship you know and get back home as soon as possible. So come, come, let’s leave now.” With that brisk command, they left her house and life behind. Leading her toward her new life, one she was unwilling to be part of but had no choice in.